Loading ...Yalla Bye: Why Does It Take so Long To Say 'Bye' at Arab Gatherings?
By: Sara Tawfik/Arab America Contributing Writer
We’ve all been there sometime in our childhood — our parents are talking to their friends at any social gathering and we wait around for them to finish saying goodbye, which usually takes around two hours. Arab gatherings usually consist of really big dinners, after-dinner conversations, platters of fruit, then shay (tea,) along with a plethora of choices for dessert. In addition, there are more conversations that usually last until midnight with the guests stating: “I really do have to get going,” and the hosts responding, “Oh it’s way too early!” These conversations can last forever, going from the living room, to the hallway, to the door, to the car. If that’s not awkwardly long enough, your Arab dad will stand by the guest’s driver’s window striking up a new topic that potentially lasts another thirty minutes. When does the chaos end? The reason Arab gatherings last so long is because they are planned out really extensively!
Here’s What To Expect From Any Arab Gathering
The Initial Phone Call: With any special occasion, there is always the call between two Arab moms that are screaming how much they miss each other on the phone. They have deep conversations about how their kids are now in college, and the recipes that they’ve made recently, saying “habibi” every other sentence. After the 3+ hour conversation that they have, your mom finally tells her to bring her family over for dinner.
The preparation: This is every Arab moms dream and every Arab son or daughter’s nightmare. First comes the endless cooking. Your mom will mention how she needs to make every specialty dish, from Hummus to Warak ‘Anab (wrapped grape leaves). She’ll move onto to making what feels like a million different types of Arab desserts such as Baklava, Knafa, Umm Ali. These desserts aren’t even including the ones your guests are bringing! By the time your mom is finished cooking a meal that can feed an army, the kitchen is a mess and we move onto the cleaning portion.
The cleaning: Your Arab mom is super stressed at this point and your Arab dad is screaming at you to, “Go help your mom!!!” while he’s on his phone watching Al Jazeera! Your mom will come into your room and lecture you for leaving your room a mess and how “we have guests coming!!!” (even though you know they won’t be spending the gathering in your room, let alone step foot in your room.) Despite the fact that the house started off spotless, your mom has somehow managed to make it even cleaner. Once the household is spotless and everyone is ready, the party has begun.
The rules: First, you have to say “Marhaba” to every single auntie and uncle that step into your home; otherwise you will be considered disrespectful and labeled as “the rude one” for the rest of your life. Expect an Arab greeting, which is usually a kiss on both cheeks, at least three times. Your Arab relatives are going to want to know everything about your life. This is the point where they ask questions like, “What are you majoring in?” “What school do you go to?” “Why are you not married yet?” and the list goes on and on. Then there are the demands from your mom to bring out the sweets and shay (tea,) and to make sure the guests are comfortable. Once you get past all the uncomfortable questions, the demands from your parents, and the never-ending conversations, Arab gatherings are so much fun – so you should cherish them while they last!
Rules for Arab Gatherings
Do you want to avoid getting your parents mad at you and make sure you impress your aunties during Arab gatherings? Follow this simple list!
- If you are expecting all 500 of your cousins, aunts, uncles and any other relatives we have forgotten, make sure to wake up at 6 AM and windex everything.
- Have your tea, cookies, and coffee ready for your guests when they arrive and before they leave! It’ll definitely leave a lasting impression!
- Make sure you kiss your relatives cheek to cheek, otherwise you will always be remembered as the “rude” one!
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