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Mo Amer talks to Adam May

posted on: Aug 1, 2015

Mo Amer
Al Jazeera America

Adam May: What do you think that comedy will accomplish? Especially in a society where we have so much racism. We have Islamophobia. Your routine, does that tackle some of that?

Mo Amer: Listen — you know, feel free to throw as many things at me right off the top, OK? I was born in Kuwait. I left Kuwait after the first Gulf War. I had no idea what stand-up comedy was. I was depressed, I was kind of feeling down on myself. My brother took me to a livestock show and rodeo concert in Houston. And it was Bill Cosby and co-headlined with Alabama as well, the band Alabama.

Inspired at the age of 10 by Bill Cosby?

I was. To be a comedian. To be a comedian, obviously. Four years later, I started doing stand-up. I was a 14-year-old kid. And my teacher gave me a shot and let me do stand-up in my classroom.

How did that happen?

I was 14 when I lost my father, at the time. I was just, like, in a weird space in my life. A 14-year-old kid and losing his dad, leaving war. It was a lot of things that I was juggling emotionally. And my teacher saw that I was just not showing up to class. I would skip. I was living like “Ferris Bueller’s Day Off.” I had a job at 14. I was going to, you know, baseball playoff games.

How did your family escape Kuwait?

We lost everything overnight. Banks were shut down, everything was gone. And that’s when we discovered that my mom has been saving money for many years.

In a tin can in the backyard? 

I don’t know where it was, but she was getting it from different spots of the house. That’s when I found out my mother’s a gangster. My mother — she ended up getting my sister and me out of Kuwait. And she wanted to smuggle the money out as well.

Because we found out in Baghdad that they were just breaking suitcases and taking the money from everyone. My mom — savvy human being as she is, the gangster that she is, as I like to refer to her — she grabbed a razor, she cut a clean line behind each zipper, on each side of her purse, and she made two custom money belts, one for her and one for my sister. Because at that time, they didn’t search women.

We get on this school bus, literally a school bus with, I don’t know, about another dozen families. And we’re heading out through Baghdad to go to Amman, Jordan. From Amman, Jordan, I was supposed to go to Houston, Texas, where my brother was getting his Ph.D. in biochemistry.

We stop in Baghdad. My mom looks out. They’re breaking suitcases. She’s becoming very nervous about the last little bit of money that she was a little lazy with. She’s smiling and talking to my sister, like, “OK,” because my sister has zero gangster skills.

My mom told her to get off the bus, take me with her. She had a plan. As we’re walking off, I see out of the corner of my eye.

My mom is messing with the suitcase and messes with the clothes. We’re all waiting outside. Everybody starts getting back on the bus. This soldier sees my mom. He gets furious with her, jumps on the bus, starts yelling at my mom. His superior officer sees him, becomes very upset.

He runs in the bus. Starts yelling at him. He goes, “Hey! How could you yell at this woman? Look at her face! This is not a face of a liar. Look at the smile on her face. Impossible! Have you lost all your manners?” Grabs him, and he says, “Look at her suitcase. It’s obviously been searched already.”

And he threw him off the bus, apologized to my mom. And all I could think of is, “Man, my mother’s a gangster.” To be that quick on her feet. And then we ended up in Amman for, like, two weeks waiting for our paperwork. And my sister and I came alone to Houston.

And then my mom went back to Kuwait.

‘That’s when I found out my mother’s a gangster. My mother – she ended up getting my sister and me out of Kuwait.’

Mo Amir

So you end up in Houston.

In Houston, Texas.

After growing up in Kuwait.

Yes.

What a culture shock that must have been.

It was. I went to private British English school in Kuwait. So I was used to the English language. But the British English language. And also you had a lot of expats in Kuwait. I went to quite a diverse school. And I was learning multiple languages. And I went to school with a vest and a bow tie.

Little bow tie?

Little bow tie. I was an adorable little Arab kid with a British accent. And then I ended up in Houston in ESL class.

Which is English as a second language.

I was the only guy that spoke English in that class, by the way. I walk in, all the kids are looking at me like, “¡Hola! Tu eres nuevo aqui?” and I was confused because they looked like my cousin Halil. And I’ve never seen Mexicans before, at that point.

When you come here and you speak British English, versus American English, did you have any hiccups? 

There was some hiccups. And one of the biggest things is an eraser. You ask for an eraser. But in British English, it’s “rubber.” I was walking around in class asking for a rubber.

Adam May and Mo Amer

Tell me about performing for U.S. troops overseas.

It’s a delicate balance. My name is Mohammad. I was born in Kuwait. Palestinian background. Palestinian parents. I’m Muslim. Like, it’s a slew of things going against me. And the first time I took the gig was in April of 2001, five months prior to 9/11. And the next thing you know, five months later — boom! — 9/11 occurs.

Did you change your routine?

At some point, I felt I was afraid to be myself, which is so detrimental to a stand-up comedian. Because that’s what you have to be onstage. And for me not to be able to be comfortable to talk about myself. I mean, can you imagine Richard Pryor doing stand-up and not acknowledging what’s happening in the civil rights movement and what is the state of black America? African-Americans? Or his personal stories?

You also joke that sometimes you might pretend to be Mexican.

It was in ESL class. I figured out — instead of learning English in this ESL class, I ended up learning Spanish. Which is really great because I’m brown and I speak Spanish, so if anything breaks out, I can camouflage at any moment in time. I mean, every Arab needs an exit strategy nowadays. And I feel like I’ve stumbled across a gem.

So your exit strategy is to pretend to be a Mexican?

You know, you have to survive another day. That’s what I’ve done. I’ve improvised my whole life. I’m going to survive that way.

Why is embracing the fact that you’re Arab so important to you?

I want to be real. I want to be authentic. That’s why I filmed my special … “Legally Homeless.” That’s why I focused on, you know, sharing my immigration experiences and me traveling the world being interrogated. These are very unique experiences to me. But also very beneficial for those that are going through the same thing. Not only Arabs, by the way.

‘I ended up learning Spanish – which is really great because I’m brown and I speak Spanish, so if anything breaks out, I can camouflage at any moment in time. I mean, every Arab needs an exit strategy nowadays.’

Mo Amir

Tell me a little bit about the questions you faced at Immigration.

They ask you this question, “Have you or anybody else you know from the time period 1933 to 1945 been involved with the Nazi Party?” I was 27, I’m like, “What the hell are you talking about?” I literally looked at him like, “Huh?” Like, seriously? You’re asking this question? He goes, “Just please answer yes or no.”

I was like, “No, I was not involved in any Nazi Party from ’33 to ’45 or currently.” Like, what the hell are you talking about? And then it’s like, “Are you a terrorist?” Like, literally, “Are you a terrorist?” I’m like, “Who says yes?” Like, seriously, who says yes?

The worst terrorist in the world.

You know? Yeah, exactly. Did you catch somebody off guard? Is that what happened? Like, hey, have you or anybody else you know been involved with or given funds to any terrorist organizations? Like, “Oh, you got me! You’re so tricky! Ah, here’s the bomb. Be careful, all right? Hey, cut the green one, OK? I’m just kidding. The red one. I don’t know.” Right? I mean, like, who does that?

Was that question about ties in the Nazi Party even a little bit more insulting, given the fact of your Palestinian heritage?

Palestinian background? Maybe. I don’t know if it was even intentional on his part. Because it showed I was born in Kuwait. And people are very confused. Like, “Oh, well, you’re born in Kuwait, you must be Kuwaiti.” Like, no, I’m not Kuwaiti. That’s not how it works in the Gulf.

It all matters where your parents come from. That was my problem when I went to Germany with the travel document. I get there and the guys like, “Ja, velcome to Germany, how vare you?” I was like, “I’m doin’ good.” He’s like, “Can I have your passport, please?” Of course, I give him my travel document.

He opens it up. He’s like, “Oh, no. Says here is not a passport. Can I please have your passport?” I was like, “No, that is my passport.” “Well, cannot be a passport, ja? Says here you’re born in Kuwait. Can I please have your Kuwaiti passport?”

I was like, “I don’t have a Kuwaiti passport.” “Well, why don’t you have a Kuwaiti passport?” I was like, “Hey, man, relax. You know, in Kuwait it doesn’t matter if you’re born there. It matters where your parents come from.” He’s like, “Ja, well, where your parents come from?”

I was like, “My parents are Palestinian.” He goes, “Well, give me your Palestinian passport!” I was like, “Man, I don’t have a Palestinian passport.” “Well, why don’t you have a Palestinian passport?” I was like, “‘Cause Palestine’s not a state.”

He goes, “Well, why don’t you make it a state?” I was like, “Where the hell have you been the last 60 years? And by the way, we’re in Germany — this was all your damn fault to begin with.” Right?

Do you think the Palestinian state will become a reality in your lifetime?

I don’t think so. I think if it does, it would still be separate and isolated. And I don’t think it’s right. I don’t think it’s right. If we’re really going to be a democratic state, why don’t you just make one state, everybody has equal rights.

Do you think it’s a hopeless situation?

I don’t think anything is hopeless. You just need to pull your sleeves up and get to work. There’s going to be a lot of fights, going to be a lot of arguments. But over time, with interactions, it has a chance. It’s the only way it has a chance.

I’ve read that you do not like the fact that people call for Muslim communities to apologize after mass shootings carried out here domestically.

I mean, are white people apologizing for every time somebody shoots up a theater? Are white people coming out like, “Hey! We are so sorry that we keep shooting up shit”? Like is that happening? I mean, like, why are white people coming out like, “Hey, this is awful. This is really bad for the whites. We need to stop this just random shootings at ‘Batman’ movies.”

Why? I’m not guilty. I didn’t do anything. This was an individual person, battling his own psychological issues. Who does that? Who murders? I have to apologize for every murder that happens on the earth? Are you kidding me?

I don’t feel like that’s necessary. I feel like what’s necessary is to be more active within your community. You know? Fix yourself. Work on yourself.

I live in Texas. What am I apologizing for? For somebody that does something overseas? And I don’t even know what’s going on overseas. I don’t.

After people watch your routine, do you think they walk out of that comedy club with a different perception of Arab-Americans?

I would hope that it adds something beneficial rather than adding something negative. I would hope so. So far, I’ve seen that it does. Definitely have seen that it does.

This interview has been edited and condensed.