7 Traits My Arab American Mother Instilled in Me

posted on: May 10, 2017

BY: Laila Elreedi/Contributing Writer

Undoubtedly, the majority of teenagers, like myself, look up to someone for a sense of inspiration and advice. We need a role model to guide us during life’s struggles. Simply someone with a clear set of standards to help influence and shape their Arab values and personal traits.

The role model for teenagers may be a youth-activist, celebrity, teacher, or even a family member. Whoever it may be, it should certainly be someone who motivates you to do and be your best. A person with a code of conduct that pushes you to overcome any obstacle and climb any mountain. In my case, that exceptional role model is my beautiful mother. 

My mother is honestly one of the sweetest, warm-hearted people you can meet. I always talk about her with such pride and joy. She was born and raised in Kuwait to Palestinian refugees. She graduated from Al Fahaheel Girls High School in 1983 with a 92 grade percentage average. That’s equivalent to a 3.7 GPA. She continued on to Kuwait University to study the English Language and Literature and received her B.A. in 1990. My mother migrated to the U.S. and completed her M.A. at Oakland University in Rochester, Michigan. In 2001, she became a mother and gave birth to me. After only one year, she graduated from Wayne State University with a Ph.D. in education while still caring for me. Such an accomplishment, right? 

As she was taking her oral exams, she was quoted saying, “It feels great to get my doctorate and have my daughter, Laila, here with me because I can be a great role model for her, now. Working two teaching jobs, finishing my degree, and being a mom, all at the same time was difficult, but it was worth it!”

Today, my mom works as an 8th grade language arts teacher in California. She continues to inspire me everyday, from waking up early to work with rowdy teens, to coming home to cook a meal, and also tending to my brother and I. She is honestly a super mom. 

There are hundreds of traits I can name that my mother passed down to me, but here 7 of them that every Arab American teen should attain. 

1. Pride – One of the very first qualities my mom passed down to me was pride. She would constantly encourage me to take pride in my Arab heritage and convince me to wear a Palestinian abaya for multi-cultural day at school, and also practice my Arabic. Instead of shying away from my culture, I now embrace it with open arms.
2. Confidence – Along with pride comes confidence. As kids develop into teens, they tend to become more insecure and reserved. My mother did not allow that to happen. She reminded me to be happy with who I am and strive to my highest potential.
3. Honesty – One saying I remember my mom repeating when I did something wrong, “It’s better to tell the truth than to lie and get in deeper trouble.” Today, I remember this lesson almost everywhere I go. As a teen, there will be a moment where you think lying would save you, but trust me, it won’t. Rather than cheating on a test, why not ask the teacher if you could retake it another day. Instead of giving into perjury for a good friend, advise your so-called friend to do the right thing, and have integrity.  
4. Patience – As a kid, I was without a doubt the most impatient child. There will be times when you will catch yourself being impatient and rude too. From standing in line at your local grocery store to waiting for your food at a restaurant, we all become short-tempered. My mother helps me remember to be considerate of others and their situations and not stress over things I can not control. It’s not the cashier’s fault that there’s only two registers open when there are a dozen in the store, and the old lady, ahead of you, can’t seem to find her credit card. It’s not the waiter’s misdeed that it’s a beautiful Saturday evening, and it seems that all the townspeople came to eat out at the same restaurant I wanted to dine at. My mother prompts me to have patience, sensitivity, and common sense, so I don’t agitate myself and have a bad attitude. Today, I consider myself to be very patient, and although it seems that I have to remind my mom to be patient more than she reminds me. 
5. Determination – My mom taught me that showing determination and being hell-bent over something you want to achieve helps you get there. If it wasn’t for my mom’s committed mentality, she wouldn’t have accomplished the goals she has achieved. If you really want something, go out there and get it!
6. Forgiveness – My mom lives by the phrase “forgive and forget,” as if it’s a law! But having mercy is way better than holding a grudge against someone. Think about it. If you were in their position, you’d want to be forgiven too, right? Being forgiving helps you go a long way in life. That classmate that made an offensive comment about you being an Arab? Or that teacher that wouldn’t accept your late assignment? Explain to them the situation calmly, then forgive them, and give them the benefit of the doubt. Maybe the peer was trying to be relatable and humorous. Maybe it’s the school’s policy that teachers can not accept late work. Remember to give people the benefit of the doubt, even if they don’t deserve it. 
7. Optimism –  My mother always claims that being positive and having happy thoughts makes you a more delightful person. To be frank, no one wants to be around a “Debbie Downer” or “Negative Nancy.” When things go wrong, think “it could’ve been worse,” that way, you reassure yourself that things aren’t that bad. Remember, life goes on and it does get better.