25 Signs You’re a Boater

posted on: Nov 11, 2016

BY: Nisreen Eadeh/Staff Writer

The best part about being Arab American is watching the Arab and American cultures mix together. When we see Mama or Baba do anything on this list, we like to call them “boaters”, also known as “FOBs” (Fresh Off the Boat). Having an immigrant family means that your life is filled with moments like these, and if the whole family is around, the boater-ness only grows.

If you do any of these things, you might be a boater, also known as a “FOB” (Fresh Off the Boat). Whichever you call it, Boater or FOB, the signs are still the same. And if you hear “boater” and think about actual boats, then you’re definitely not a boater.

1. You wear high heels when you cook

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2. You often use the wrong verbs: “Put on the light” instead of “turn on the light”

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3. You say “yalla” to people who aren’t Arab

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4. You wear socks with babooj

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5. You don’t let your kids sleep over other people’s houses

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6. There’s always half a lemon in the fridge where the eggs should be

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7. You don’t trust the dishwasher to get the dishes clean

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8. You don’t know how to explain city or church conventions to friends so you just say “I’m going to an Arab thing.”

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9. You don’t think anyone will be able to pronounce your name so you just go by “Sam” or “Gus” or “Mo”

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10. You spit bizzer into a water bottle like an animal

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11. You only watch Arabic satellite channels

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12. You are cousins with your spouse

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13. You say “beoble” and “barty” instead of “people” and “party”

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14. You can’t eat a meal without Arab bread aka pita

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15. You put olive oil on everything and remind everyone you know about how healthy it is

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16. Your mom also calls you “mama” when she talks to you

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17. Marriage is the only topic that you will be hearing about until you make it happen

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18. You always have a “guest room” in the houses that is super clean and must NOT be used by anyone

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19. You talk loud when on international calls even though the service is clear

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20. You never fail to ask the entire family what they want for dinner each night

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21. You take your own hookah to Arab gatherings

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22. You defend your soccer team like you’re the coach

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23. You save every grocery bag you ever get

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24. You hoard old clothes for unborn children to use one day

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25. You never smile in a photo

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